when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
