No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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