My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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