I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Who died my cat blue again?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
