I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
