I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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