i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
