can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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