College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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