I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
