He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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