i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hippo gnu deer
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
