I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
