September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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