I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
