just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have aggressive nipples.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize