hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
nutella sex= disaster
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
