My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize