ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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