mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
