The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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