you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
