Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
