I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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