just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wear drunk well.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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