totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
