and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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