I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You pole danced in your parka.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
