fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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