the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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