i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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