I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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