It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
