You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
