someone get that fucking seahorse.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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