I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
