I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
