its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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