yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
