Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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