Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
