oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize