Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
