i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
