i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
