The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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