He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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