I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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