my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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