Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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