does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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