:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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