Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
