Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
