I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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