try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
