PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
