ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
