I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
