i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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