ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
